Top of the world, ma!

Google "340 Brannan."

We have arrived.

What the...!?

One of the challenges of writing this blog is to fully cover the topic without getting too scatological or vulgar. (It is a workplace, after all.)

But some of the scenarios presented by fifth floor men's room defy euphemism. I shall try my best...

Yesterday, one of the visitors to the business chamber did some work that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around. While he had clearly flushed and even lit a match (thank you!) there were still significant...remnants...three inches above the water line.

Three...inches...ABOVE...the water line.

I found myself thinking, where the hell is that guy's "exit?" Given my anatomy (which I assume to be standard issue) I would have to contort myself into some pretty interesting shapes to...paint on that portion of the canvas.

So I return to the original premise that caused me to start this blog: some of the men using 340 Brannan fifth floor men's room are NOT RIGHT. Get yourself checked, fellas.

New toilet paper

Anybody else notice the new toilet paper?

Instead of the quilted, flowery stuff, it has a more a modern, basket-weave texture.

I like it. It's easier to spin off the roll AND it's hearty--built for man-sized business. What more could you want?

Feedback from a dedicated reader

One of our readers just posted this note "offline" (scribbled it on the original memo/manifesto that is still posted in fifth floor men's room):

I honestly thought this blog would get more traction…

Isn’t it ___________* that most blogs are about a bunch of boring crap and this blog is literally about ABOBC?

(*someone with imagination and a thesaurus fill in the blank.)

- A dedicated reader

First off, the staff here at 340brannan5thfloormensroom.blogspot.com wants to thank "dedicated reader" for his support of this blog from day one.

He is right. This is not MY blog...I am a servant of you, the people, helping put forth YOUR hopes and dreams for fifth floor men's room.

How would you fill in the blank above? Post your answer in the comments to this post.

Self-cleaning toilet seat

Users of fifth floor men's room, let us unite for a common purpose!

Let's come together and ask building management to install one of these self-cleaning toilet seats.

Making a contribution

Potty Blogger took measures into his own hands today.

I purchased a new can of air freshener for fifth floor men's room. It is Glade Air Infusions - Refreshing Springs.

One of the reasons that I selected it is because it uses UltraLast® technology to infuse the air with fragrance that lasts up to one hour.

The other reason is that it was on sale at Walgreens.

If it can truly make fifth floor men's room smell "inviting and fresh" (as claimed on its website) it really will have been worth the $1.99 I shelled out from my own pocket.

I have labeled the can too: "DO NOT REMOVE FROM FIFTH FLOOR MENS ROOM." Hopefully, the air freshener klepto that stole the last can has been apprehended.

Men, let us pledge together to use this miracle air infuser.

Hopes dashed

So much for New Year's optimism.

"Somebody" has returned from holiday break with a vengeance and just left a late Christmas present in fifth floor men's room. The entire floor has been declared a bio-hazard area.

It's a little like closing the barn door after the horses are out, but I'm going to the store after work and purchasing a new can of spray for the men's room. Something must be done.

Happy New Year

A new year, a new beginning for fifth floor men's room.

As we return from the holiday break, the can of air freshener is gone (maybe Santa took it?) but I am still optimistic about this bathroom in 2008.

Men, let us resolve to flush. To spray. To care.