'Tis the season!
Somebody contributed a BRAND NEW can of Meadows & Rain Febreze Air Effects to fifth floor men's room.
Such charity restores your faith in mankind.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
The perpetrator speaks
On the WANTED posted that currently hangs in 340 Brannan fifth floor men's room, the perpetrator of Monday's crime scrawled:
The public has spoken: we know art, sir, and you are no artist.
A handwriting analysis is in process. DNA testing will follow. He will be brought to justice!
"I'm an artist, not a vandal"
The public has spoken: we know art, sir, and you are no artist.
A handwriting analysis is in process. DNA testing will follow. He will be brought to justice!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Crime scene
A new low, men.
Yesterday, I did not have an occasion to visit the fifth floor men's room, but a colleague of mine did. And he stumbled across a crime scene so horrific, he did the only reasonable thing...he took a picture.
I will not share the photographic evidence with you. (Frankly, I don't think Flikr will let me start an account with such an image.) But picture the worst thing you've ever scene in your life...multiply that by three. 'nuff said.
A wanted poster is now in place. The perpetrator of this crime will be located and brought to justice.
Yesterday, I did not have an occasion to visit the fifth floor men's room, but a colleague of mine did. And he stumbled across a crime scene so horrific, he did the only reasonable thing...he took a picture.
I will not share the photographic evidence with you. (Frankly, I don't think Flikr will let me start an account with such an image.) But picture the worst thing you've ever scene in your life...multiply that by three. 'nuff said.
A wanted poster is now in place. The perpetrator of this crime will be located and brought to justice.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Black Monday
We all know that the Friday after Thanksgiving is called "Black Friday" because of the chaos that kicks off the holiday shopping season.
(Yeah, I know that the name actually refers to fact that it's when retailers traditionally push their books into "the black" for year, but anybody who has actually fought their way through a Gap post-turkey day knows that the mood is pretty dark.)
Well, for office bathrooms all over the country, the first workday after the Thanksgiving holiday is known as "Black Monday."
Your average cubicle dweller has been stuffing their face for four days solid (thank you very much, leftovers.) In other words, the factory has been working overtime and there is backlog of product ready to ship!
I hope our plumbing can handle it.
(Yeah, I know that the name actually refers to fact that it's when retailers traditionally push their books into "the black" for year, but anybody who has actually fought their way through a Gap post-turkey day knows that the mood is pretty dark.)
Well, for office bathrooms all over the country, the first workday after the Thanksgiving holiday is known as "Black Monday."
Your average cubicle dweller has been stuffing their face for four days solid (thank you very much, leftovers.) In other words, the factory has been working overtime and there is backlog of product ready to ship!
I hope our plumbing can handle it.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
It's called a plunger
Men, it’s bathroom etiquette 101: he who clogs it must unclog it.
This morning, I was required, once again, to “repair” the facility before I could use it. Not cool.
It’s simple: once you’ve completed your transaction, flush and take a quick glance down. If the “actors” have “cleared the stage” you are free to exit the stall. If, however, there is a bottleneck at the exit, simply grab the plunger and clear the way.
The next guy thanks you for your courtesy.
This morning, I was required, once again, to “repair” the facility before I could use it. Not cool.
It’s simple: once you’ve completed your transaction, flush and take a quick glance down. If the “actors” have “cleared the stage” you are free to exit the stall. If, however, there is a bottleneck at the exit, simply grab the plunger and clear the way.
The next guy thanks you for your courtesy.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Captain, I need more pressure
Aside from the well-documented nasal assault, another defining feature of 340 Brannan's fifth floor men's room is the complete lack of water pressure.
While this is somewhat inconvenient in terms of the sink (I mean, we don't have to wash our hands every visit, do we men?) it's downright unacceptable in terms of the toilet.
To illustrate my point...
Perhaps you are familiar with Takeru Kobayashi, the Japanese competitive eater who held the world record for hot dog eating for several years. A key element of his technique: he soaks the buns. Dipping them in water makes them easier to digest.
Let's just say that the fifth floor men's room toilet is not a "championship eater" of anything. I think its inability to fully "soak the buns" is a key reason why.
The toilet reminds me of those first generation low-flush water saving toilets--the ones that would simply spritz a turd and call it a day. While the low-flush technology seems to have come a long way in recent years, the plumbing in the fifth floor men's room at 340 Brannan has not.
Apparently, the building manager has tried to pin the lack of water pressure on the city. If that's the case, I shudder to think about those high-rise condos that are going up in nearby SOMA. If you've paid $2 million for a condo on the 43rd floor, you sure want to be able to go #2 in your own home, don't you?
It's gotten so bad, that I've heard rumors of desperate measures--people bringing water bottles with them into the business chamber (and not to quench their thirst.) But "those buns" need softening...do it for Kobayashi.
While this is somewhat inconvenient in terms of the sink (I mean, we don't have to wash our hands every visit, do we men?) it's downright unacceptable in terms of the toilet.
To illustrate my point...
Perhaps you are familiar with Takeru Kobayashi, the Japanese competitive eater who held the world record for hot dog eating for several years. A key element of his technique: he soaks the buns. Dipping them in water makes them easier to digest.
Let's just say that the fifth floor men's room toilet is not a "championship eater" of anything. I think its inability to fully "soak the buns" is a key reason why.
The toilet reminds me of those first generation low-flush water saving toilets--the ones that would simply spritz a turd and call it a day. While the low-flush technology seems to have come a long way in recent years, the plumbing in the fifth floor men's room at 340 Brannan has not.
Apparently, the building manager has tried to pin the lack of water pressure on the city. If that's the case, I shudder to think about those high-rise condos that are going up in nearby SOMA. If you've paid $2 million for a condo on the 43rd floor, you sure want to be able to go #2 in your own home, don't you?
It's gotten so bad, that I've heard rumors of desperate measures--people bringing water bottles with them into the business chamber (and not to quench their thirst.) But "those buns" need softening...do it for Kobayashi.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
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